by Annie Cox ’24 and Margot Ross ’24
Dearest Readers of The Peabody Press,
It brings us, Margot Ross and Annie Cox, great sadness and optimism to announce our resignation as co- editors in chief of the Peabody Press. Our time on staff has been one full of wonder and great joy, but as time has passed the paper has held us back from achieving our greatest goal: having a feature article written about us.
This is the ultimate achievement for students at USN and the reason most students attend high school here. While the prestige of winning the Stanford Moore Award, the McMullan scholarship, or even a Nobel Prize is transient, the utmost honor of having a profile written about one of us is something that we are willing to forfeit our positions for the mere chance to earn.
We both have many interesting accomplishments that we believe would provide any aspiring journalist with great material for a feature article. As a courtesy to future writers, we have attached a QR code to our resumes below. However, we will also take the time to preview our vast array of accomplishments for the lone archivists who might stumble upon a copy of this hallowed issue in 3024.
Margot, for instance, has recently taken up a new artistic endeavor: amateur crocheting. After realizing that she spent about five hours a day on her phone during winter break, she solicited a crocheting kit from a dear friend, who shall not be named. While she can barely make a misshapen scarf at press time, Margot’s new interest in crochet represents a deeply transformative period of growth and reflection in her life, and would make great material for any staff writer. Like 10,000 other high school students, Margot also serves as captain of the Mock Trial team after school.
Annie has polished up her mediocre parking skills, mastering the classic epic style needed for a profile piece. She has overcome many challenges, most notably hitting a car in the cage and crying dramatically about parking in the 8th avenue Kroger’s parking lot. She perfected the art of barely fitting into a parallel parking spot at the young age of 17, overcoming insurmountable challenges in the Gulch and Belmont. This alone is worth a novel about her, but a profile will suffice.
Now, some haters (and non-recipients-of-profiles) may question our odds of even being considered for an article. But, rumor is that whoever has the most profiles gets into any college of their choice and becomes president of the United States. These details are too tempting for us to pass-up on, so we will take the chance.
We know the paper will be able to function without us, but we have left some words of encouragment below. If our profile in is the next issue, we will rejoin to staff (acknowledging that our new found fame may make some writers feel awestuck in our presence, so we may need an adjustment time).
To Mr. Karpinos, we leave many sentiments of gratitude. Humor aside, we genuinely believe that the school would fall apart without you (and without a profile about us).
We charge the staff writers with writing this aforementioned piece. Daunting, we know. But, diamonds are created under the most extreme pressure, and perhaps one day someone will write a profile about how you wrote about us.
We wish you all well and we know that each and every single one of you are capable of great things, both in high school and beyond — just without us as your editors. Please don’t forget that “via” is never capitalized in our photo captions.
Much love and adoration (but only to whomever writes our profile),
Margot Ross and Annie Cox
